My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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