If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
