Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
