Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this beer tastes like vomit already
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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