I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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