I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
