u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
