i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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