Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
