I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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