Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
