Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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