those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
