I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Define "chronic" masturbator.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
