i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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