This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
