Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
