Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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