$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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