Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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