I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
