Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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