her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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