So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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