He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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