What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Randomize
