Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
