not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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