Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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