she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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