Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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