You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
