so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
