If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
