Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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