Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
