Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
