i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
