Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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