My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
