we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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