chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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