my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
