Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
