She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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