Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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