So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
