that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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