Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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