glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
