I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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