Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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