She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize