these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize