I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
