Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this boner is exhausting
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
