Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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