I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
