Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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